Not So Little Anymore
by Red-Dream
Summary: 'Twas not what she presumed it to be. After being banished for centuries, Luna thought that returning to Equestria would be exactly what she needed. But... Home wasn't where her heart was. Magic couldn't soothe this pain. One-shot. (Takes place after Luna Eclipsed episode, for reference)


**Author's Note:** I LOVE My Little Pony (and Princess Luna). She needs more attention. Small one-shot practicing a complicated aspect of her relationship and return. Will give brohoof for review! /)

* * *

Luna let out a meager sigh.

Her sister really should not have gone through the trouble of arranging a special ball just for her sake to mark the 100th day since her return to Equestria.

Admittedly, she had been overjoyed upon receiving the first subtle hints-

_Luna, clear your calendar next week. We're having a party for you._

-and, the time spent in Rarity's boutique had been a novel experience-

_Oooh, you look fabulous princess! Wait, let me… No, that won't do. Let me just- ugh, that throws off the whole piece, what was I thinking? Hold still for a moment, please. Pinkie Pie! Grab the- no, the other- yes, those! Bring them over… Never mind. Princess?_

-and overall, the days leading up to it had been spent fondly with _Sister_-

_Oh Luna, look at you! You look absolutely scrumptious. My little girl, so grown up! Oh, don't look so flustered. You'll always be my little sister._

-so why was she not having… _fun_?

Luna glanced around to make sure no one in particular had their attention focused on her or was about to and quietly slipped away from the buzzing atmosphere and lively crowd of dancing, conversing and amusement. Almost instantly the wave of quiet and peace that washed over her on the moonlit balcony soothed her soul. From there, where she could gaze up at the moon, the chatter of the crowd seemed so distant, a background noise to her own thoughts.

_The moon…_

Its reflection sparkled in her eyes, casting a pale silver glow across the lands for all to be comforted. Luna had dutifully taken to raising it in place of her sister since her return to ease her sibling's burden, but its weight was not something she could forget. There was no magic that could lift the moon from her heart.

Almost without realizing, a tear had begun to quiver on the edge of her eye, threatening to swell and fall down her cheek, but she quickly blinked it away. A single shooting star took its place above.

"Luna…?"

A voice softly called her name from somewhere behind, just on the edge of the doorway. Twilight Sparkle trotted forward, a delicate mix of concern and surprise written across her features.

"Oh, hello Twilight Sparkle." Luna quickly sniffed, recomposing herself.

"What are you doing out here? The party's inside, for you." She offered an understanding smile, seemingly already knowing the answer to her question, however.

"Oh, we- _I_ just, required some fresh air, that's all." She laughed nervously, noticing Twilight wasn't exactly sold on the flimsy excuse. "You know how we- _I_, I, am. Not quite accustomed to such a… large gathering in my… honor!" She finished with a sheepish grin.

"If you say so…" Twilight said, amused. Thankfully, her gaze was drawn upward, where the sight of the full moon among hundreds of twinkling stars stole her attention. "Wow…" She breathed. "It's so pretty…"

Luna followed her line of sight. "Mmm… is it not?"

They marveled at it in silence, allowing some moments to pass between them before Twilight coughed, a blush spreading across her face.

"What is it?" Luna asked, turning towards her.

"I don't think it would be appropriate of me to ask about this…" Twilight mumbled.

"No, please, do not hesitate." Luna smiled encouragingly.

"What's it like to be on the moon…?" Twilight refrained from asking too quickly, allowing each word to settle lest she should come off as rude. She clenched her mouth closed, worried that she had pushed her boundaries, but to the contrary Luna did not appear to take offense.

"It is very quiet there, and… lonely." Her voice was accentuated with a dash of regret at the last word, but she continued. "From its vantage, all of Equestria may be viewed in a passing glance! Long hath my gaze roamed across all the land. Beyond the horizons of the planet, more astonishing wonders were observed, yet… None so much comforting to mine heart as here. Home."

Luna's eyes were distant, her thoughts in a far off place. Probably the moon. Her lips had smoothened out to a sad smile. She blinked once, twice, and it was no more. Luna glanced at the oh so young pony next to her, who was positively awed at the description.

"You know, princess, Celestia is really glad that you're back." She finally offered, the sudden mention of her sister surprising Luna.

"Truly?"

Twilight nodded. "Of course, she always appears relaxed and content, but when you're around, she seems to glow a little bit brighter than usual." She giggled at the unintended pun.

Luna looked down at her hooves, eased by the idea of her older sister being so genuinely joyed.

"She mentions 'her little sister' pretty often, too."

The comment struck Luna with a pained feeling. There she had been enjoying a heartwarming moment when that word had come up again. _Little._ It must have showed, for Twilight again appeared worried with furrowed brows.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes!" Luna responded a little too quickly with a touch of fake enthusiasm. "Why would it not be? Nothing is present about which to be woed." Luna stepped back uneasily, a wide smile plastered on her lips. "Now, uh, would it not be wise to return to the, uh- festivities? It would not due to make everypony wait!"

Luna led the way back into the ballroom, opting to retreat into a chair at an empty table rather than join the throng of ponies packing the dance floor.

"You're not still shy about this, are you?" Twilight asked, moving to sit down next to her.

"Hey, Twilight!" A shout from nearby interrupted her. Spike waved from among the ponies. "Come over here, you've gotta see this!" Twilight waved back, turning to the princess.

"Will you be alright if I go?" Twilight cocked her brow, unwilling to leave the lunar princess to her devices just yet.

"Certainly! Please, hinder yourself not for my sake, I shall fare well!" Luna urged convincingly enough. Twilight relented, turning to her dragon friend and leaving Luna in solitude once more.

They were nice enough friends. Though their encounters had been limited since Luna's return-

_The night will last __**forever**__!_

-she gulped at that memory-

_The fun has been doubled!_

-and groaned inwardly at that one- she and Twilight had grown in friendship through their repeated conversations, but she regrettably did not share the kind of bond she would have hoped for. Nay, not like between Twilight and her own sister. Even _she_ still found herself uneasy around her, not always finding the right words to say or even the right thoughts to mull.

…She had not come back from the moon at all… She was still all alone.

Without warning, the room darkened and a spotlight burst to life, trained directly onto her now squinted face.

"Fillies and gentle colts! May I direct your attention to the main attraction, the _star_ of tonight's ball, our very own lunar alicorn, _princess_ Luna!" A pony boomed over some unseen amplifier, exciting the collection of ponies into frenzied applause. With growing dread she noted that absolutely _everyone_ in the ballroom was trained on her, but her discomfort was short-lived. A second spotlight swiveled to the front of the ballroom, where the stage was; her sister made a regal entrance of arriving in a dazzling swirl of rainbow colors that drew hushed gasps, and then clapping, from the ponies. She bowed gracefully, clearing her throat. The room grew silent.

"I am delighted to have you all attend tonight." Her cool gaze swept across the crowd as she began. "I have been looking forward to this event even before its inception, when Luna was still the sister I longed to see once more. When I finally had the opportunity to reunite with her, 100 days ago, I was the happiest girl alive." Luna could not be certain, but it appeared a blush had crept onto her sister's face, and it made her chest flutter.

"Since then, I have felt Equetria prosper from her presence among us, and I know she is eager to catch up on the _long_ overdue events and people that have been waiting for her all along." Celestia beamed, a radiant light glowing around her. "Tonight, we dance to the returned princess! I'm so glad to have you back, little sister." She looked in Luna's direction, their eyes meeting for just a moment, a world of emotion and unspoken words passing between them, before Celestia bowed and withdrew to much acclaim.

Luna, for her part, could only stare on, dazed, as the lights returned.

* * *

Books were nice. Books were… relaxing! They did not beg attention beyond the allure of what their titles promised, and were _patient_, and, and…

Luna sighed, setting the book she had been reading for the past half hour down and resting her head between its pages. There was not so much enjoyment of them when her thoughts were wandering. For the better part of the last one hundred days, she had been holed away from Equestria as it truly was. _Avoiding_ it, even. Twilight, she had been told, had been the same before moving here. Over time, even she learned to step beyond her shelters and acquaint with the residents.

_Why can I not do the same?_

Immediately she thought to her outdated mannerisms, but almost as quickly waved them away. Twilight had helped dispel the uncertainty she felt when first introducing herself as a _new_ princess, one who was in touch with her subjects. Nightmare Night was one of the most anticipated celebrations, she was assured by the young student. Indeed, once it became clear everypony enjoyed being thrilled, she took to it like a pegasus to flying, and much fun had been received- misunderstandings aside. As promised, backs had remained whole and _un__gobbled_ as well.

_But then, if not this, then what?_

"_Lunaaa_!" Her sister's call wafted across the bookshelves, alerting her to the girl's approach. She pursed her lips, the speech from the night before replaying in her mind.

"Yeees?" She called back, meekly. When no response was forthcoming, she looked up. Celestia popped up in her view, frightening the living cutie mark half off her flank.

"_Eep!_" She squeaked, much to her sister's amusement. When she was sure her heart had calmed enough not to burst, she asked in a shaky voice. "What b-brings you to t-the study?"

"To see you, of course!" Her sister giggled, trotting forward. "You've hardly spent any time at all outside since you've returned, sister…" Her smile melted into a sad one, inflicting guilt upon Luna. "Why?"

"O-Oh, well, uhm…" Luna stammered, faintly aware she was beginning to fidget as well. "I… I just… I do not know, sister." She finally resigned, not wishing to complicate matters further than they were. She thought back to her admission to Twilight, on the balcony. "Sometimes, it feels as if… I have never actually left the moon." She looked up at her sister's pained expression, but Celestia was insightful and hastily pulled the girl under her wing, affectionately rubbing her head. The intimacy and warmth that blossomed within her was soothing. She had been missing it for a very, _very_ long time.

"Luna, you should have told me you were feeling this way sooner…" Her sister lightly chastised, caressing Luna's own wing; however, both knew no harm was meant by it. "You have no need to feel alone anymore. We are _all_ here to help you adjust to home and regain the life you had been missing." She then nuzzled her, much to Luna's pleasure. "That is why I have arranged for you to spend a few days with Twilight and her friends." That bit threw her off.

"Excuse me?" Luna looked up, surprised.

"Yes?" Her sister smiled.

"S-so… soon?" This prompted a hearty chuckle from Celestia.

"Soon? It's been 100 days, dear. You're not planning on waiting another 1000 years before experiencing true friendship, are you?" Her sister teased, but it struck Luna as oddly cold.

"No, of course not…" She bowed her head, wondering if progress had really been made after all. No amount of reminders would dispel the heavy feeling that lingered in her heart- yet perhaps friendship _could_.

"Sister, are you certain?" Luna asked once more to be certain.

"Absolutely." Her sister reaffirmed. "Anything for my younger sister."

Luna pulled away, unable to bear the taunts any longer. "Why do you insist on reminding me of my age and size relative to you?" She cried, tears welling in her eyes and lips quivering.

Her sister was taken aback. "Luna, I-"

"That is all I have heard of late! _Little_ sister this, _younger_ Luna that!" She sniffed, unable to hold the tears, or the torrent of emotions, back any longer. "It is as if I am mocked!"

"Please, _Luna_-" Celestia tried, visibly hurt.

"Leave me be, sister, I am in no condition to be spoken to!" Luna galloped off, deaf to the sound of her sister calling her back. A strange glow emanated from her horn, and before she noticed, it had enveloped her, and she was in the library no longer.

* * *

_Wh… What occured…?_

Luna groaned, barely managing to lift her eyelids. She recalled being upset at her sister, galloping away, and then… This. She blinked, eyes widening in shock.

Luna lied in a blanket of snow, sprawled in a clearing surrounded by trees. The wind howled angrily, chilling her body and wrapping her in shivers. She had ended up in a snowy forest.

Luna's frigid breath condensed into wispy clouds, swirling away with the push of the wind as she struggled to trek through the deepening snow. There had been no signs of any life, and she had been trotting for a considerable amount of time. She weaved between sturdy evergreens and across frozen rivers, barely disturbing the silence of the mysterious, captivating land.

It was all quite charming. The snow glinted under the rays of the sun, which filtered in through the sparse canopy of trees. Here, despite the discomforting cold, she felt peaceful, in tune with nature. It whispered to her, dancing around her perked ears and then floating away just when she thought she could make out a word or two. The forest seemed to be leading her somewhere, _somewhere…_

Luna squinted her eyes, making out a wall of grey up ahead. She picked up her slack and galloped forward, slowing in front of a large cliff face of rock. It rose up from among the trees, stark and unmoving. At its base, a handful of colorful flowers sprouted, lone beauties among the freeze. A gaping cavern hole was carved into its side, offering a mediocre shelter. Gratefully, she stepped inside and lied down to rest and think. The floor was hardly comfortable and littered with pebbles and dust, but it would have to do until she could regain her energy and figure out how to return home.

Luna's grip on consciousness slipped for the second time that day, and she allowed herself to drift off into an uneasy sleep riddled with strange visions.

* * *

A quiet tapping awoke her. Luna slowly raised her head at the source of the sound, then suppressed a gasp at the sight of another pony. He was clad in thick furs, including on his hooves, and a paddle sack hung from his flank. He breathed slowly and evenly, eying her with curious interest. They stared at each other for a few seconds before he spoke in a quiet tone, voice gentle.

"I saw you resting here and were wondering whether you were lost. I apologize for waking you- I had to be certain you are in good health."

Luna rose to full height, stretching and yawning cutely. She was, at least, feeling better than before.

"Yes, I am quite alright, thank you." She nodded, smiling. "And you are…?"

"Out collecting herbs for my tribe." He bowed respectfully. "I shall be going now, should you wish to accompany me. You- you are not lost, are you?" He added thoughtfully.

"Actually… I am." Luna admitted, kicking nervously at a pebble. "I am not quite certain where I am, and I wish to return to Ponyville."

"Ah." He grinned. "Then you are quite far. We are deep to the north, close to the frozen mountains."

"Oh…" She blushed, biting her lower lip. His knowing eyes made her feel as if he could discern she had landed herself in her own predicament.

"Worry not. I shall assist your return." He turned, stopping with a sudden grunt. "I have neglected to introduce myself. I am Lunis."

_Lunis…?_

She pushed away the uncanny similarity to her own name, reciprocating the introduction.

"I am _Luna_." She felt more than a little strange, having presented herself in this new manner only a handful of times. Occasionally, she still had the urge to use her Royal Canterlot voice and refer to herself as "we," but the exposure to society was smoothing that over. Whatever remained of her mannerisms after was simply her true personality.

"Pleased to meet you, Luna. Our camp is not far, so you will not have to hunger or shiver much longer."

_How did he-?_

Luna glanced down at her hooves, noticing she was she still shivering and her breathing was labored. Unless his hearing was keen, he would not have noticed her stomach rumbling. She had, as usual, delayed in eating breakfast and was now paying the price for it.

As they trotted along through the snow, Luna made steady conversation with her guide about the locales, the weather, his tribe, and Ponyville.

"I have never explored beyond my village." He said, tone neutral of any kind of longing or wonder. It was odd, she thought, because she was fascinated with the world. When she and her sister had been younger fillies, she had often dreamed about travelling all the lands.

"Equestria brims with beauty in every corner. It is my wish to witness all of it and become wiser." Luna said, withholding '_like my sister._'

"A fair pursuit." Lunis agreed. "I bid you success in it."

"Thank you…" She smiled, the simple sincerity of his statement warming her ever so slightly.

"Perhaps one day you will return and recount to me what you have seen?" He suggested.

"If your food is to my liking." Luna teased, earning a laugh from the pony.

"It is simple stuff. I value it more for its benefit than a pleasing flavor."

They continued in this manner, growing steadily friendlier with each other, until reaching the edge of the camp.

"We have arrived." Lunis announced with a huff, finally showing a sign of fatigue. While headed to drop off his collected herbs, he introduced her to some ponies, all dressed as warmly and as hearty as he, and then led them to a campfire. The villagers took to her quickly, marveling at her exotic color and beautiful flank, and were not shy about offering her shelter and something to eat. A young filly ran up to Lunis, nuzzling him affectionately.

"You returned!" She squeaked.

"Yes, little one." He chuckled. "Have you been good?"

"…Yes." She replied, hiding a sly grin. "I did some exploring today with the others, around the edge of the camp."

"What have I told you about wandering off unsupervised?" He lectured, but his voice was not harsh.

"I know, I know. '_Always tell an adult._'" She impersonated.

"Well, as long as you are safe."

"Who's this?" The filly turned towards Luna, who introduced herself.

"My name is Luna. What is yours, young one?"

"Sophie!" The girl smiled mischievously before running off giggling to her friends.

"She is a sweet girl." The two smiled.

"She is my sister." Lunis nodded. "I care for her dearly. We do not always agree, but it gladdens me that we manage to reconcile. I could not bear to suffer her disappointment or anger, for she is the only family I have left…"

_How familiar…_

Luna was reminded of her own family. Her sister must have been worried since her disappearance… Worried a lot. It made Luna restless that Celestia had no indication that she was safe. She would have to return quickly.

"I am sorry to hear that." Luna offered.

"Do not be- the village is our family, too."

"Why do they stare at me?" She whispered to Lunis, pulling her fur cloak tighter around herself.

"It is your appearance. You are rare among us." He replied. Luna noticed that most of the ponies at the camp were shades of brown, black and grey, and while they were sturdy and friendly like the ponies in Ponyville, they were nowhere near as colorful or decorated. Ponyville, being in a temperate climate and quite large in size, encouraged such diversity.

"Is this offensive?" She whimpered, self-conscious.

"No, no." He laughed. "It is the contrary. They are envious and do not wish for you to leave their hospitality hastily."

Luna smiled at his way of speaking. It reminded her of her own style, which she was told was a bit "archaic." Here, she did not feel it so out of place, and despite being so far from home, was not at all troubled. They sat down in front of the crackling flames, their bodies warming as the sun began to set in the horizon.

Out of habit, Luna casually focused on slowly lifting the moon, barely giving off a magical presence. It would be her way of telling her sister she was okay and still aware of her responsibilities. Since disappearing in the library, her bitter feelings had subsided, and now she simply felt a small emptiness. True, she was still upset at being treated like an infant, but troubling her sister like she had was a worse guilt that she would rather not experience again.

Lunis handed her a bowl filled with a steaming broth, strange vegetables floating inside. The scent was tangy and mouthwatering, and she devoured her share before Lunis bothered to start. She grinned sheepishly when he took her bowl and handed her another, but they both knew she could desperately use the nourishment. Whatever natural minerals had been inside restored her strength and clarity, and Luna felt pleasantly refreshed.

When they both had their fill, Lunis pointed towards the night sky.

"It is beautiful, is it not?"

"Very." She agreed, carried away to the night before. The air here smelled just as fresh and sweet, untouched by modern life. Lunis cleared his throat.

"It is said in our village that when one is staring at the moon, searching for its goddess, and thinks dearly about another pony, and that pony thinks of them, the goddess will send a star shooting down through the sky to remind the pony that they are not alone." A thin, sweet smile spread across Lunis's lips, the reflection of a memory mirrored in his glassy eyes.

The story touched Luna, bringing a happy tear to her eye. Just like with Nightmare Night, ponies had passed down traditions and legends in her regard, paying their respects to the princess of the moon. They reaffirmed more than ever that they did not fear her, and in fact greatly loved her. She had been _foolish_ for letting herself be gripped by bitterness, turning into Nightmare Moon and straining what had always been a happy relationship.

_Sister…_

Luna was panged with remorse, tears freely rolling down her face.

_Celestia… My sister, I have blundered again._

She sobbed quietly. Just then, a bright star lit up the sky, lighting the faces of princess and pony for a brief moment before streaking out of sight.

"Luna…"

Lunis was turned towards her, studying her tear stains with a worried look.

"Luna…" He repeated, breathless.

She turned away, embarrassed. "I apologize."

"Why do you cry?" He asked, hushed.

"I have… believed my sister to think badly of me, and caused her much grief because of it by running away." She whispered. "When really it is I who have imagined it and should have confronted her about it sooner."

A hoof found its way onto hers, and she looked up at Lunis, who pulled her into an embrace.

"You will have your opportunity. Do not stain yourself with tears."

Luna rested her head against him, closing her eyes and allowing their shared warmth to lull her.

"…Lunis…" She murmured after a moment.

"Yes?"

"Thank you…"

"Think nothing of it." He nestled his head closer, sighing contentedly. His heart began to pound, and he made a motion to speak again, but Lune was fast asleep. He decided instead to stare up at the moon, and for a moment, could have sworn he saw a face on it that winked.

* * *

Luna turned back towards the pony, who stood by the steps to the platform, watching her go.

"Are you certain you won't come with me, just for a little while?" Luna tried once more, but he respectfully shook his head.

"I am sorry, I cannot. The village awaits my return, for I am able bodied and may gather."

She trotted back to him for one more embrace.

"B-but, you are, of course, always welcome to visit us." He coughed, resisting a blush at her proximity.

"The goddess of the moon heard your wish." She planted a quick kiss on his cheek, which instantly flared red, leaving him dumbstruck and lost for words. She giggled, retreating back and waving.

"Fare well, Lunis!"

"Y-yes, farewell… Luna…" He murmured in a daze, feeling the spot where she had kissed him. It wasn't until she was long gone and out of sight that he remembered the moon on her flank, and slowly, the connection dawned on him.

Lunis fainted.

* * *

"Sister…?" Luna whispered, silently trotting into the chamber.

Celestia whipped around, an incredible grin rushing across her expression at the sight of Luna. In a flash, she galloped forward and tackled the girl, nuzzling her face affectionately.

"Luna! Oh, I was so worried- are you okay? Where _were_ you? Oh, don't _ever_ run off like that again-" She caught herself, giving her sister a chance to breathe. Her relief was overwhelming.

Luna hugged her sister tightly, and Celestia returned it. "I am terribly sorry for running away… After what happened in the library, I had been so frustrated… I thought…" She looked up at her sister apologetically. "I thought you were mocking me."

"Oh, my dear, no…" She cooed. "If I had known that was how you felt, I would have stopped. That is not at all the case." She gave her another squeeze. "I love you, Luna. You know that."

"I'm aware." The sisters laughed, enjoying each other's embrace for a while.

"…So." Celestia began. "Did you meet any boys during your trip?" She teased.

"_Sister!_"

"What? I'm just curious!"

"If you must know, yes." Luna huffed.

"Great! When can I meet him?"

"Excuse me?" Luna's jaw slacked.

"I have to _supervise_ your first boyfriend, you know." Celestia patted her sister's head.

"He's not… he's not my…!" Luna was mortified. She had never… But she _had_ just, at the train station… Her face flushed.

"Luna's got a boyfriend!" Celestia sang, prancing about.

"I do _not!_"

"You're right, he's probably a little young for you."

The ruler of Equestria cackled as her sister's half-hearted moan filled the small space, and they would probably begin bickering anew in good humor _fairly _soon.

"…At least I _have_ a pony that is 'in to me.'" Luna smirked, earning a glare from her sister.

"Is that a _challenge_?"

"Bring it, sister." Luna laughed as Celestia charged her, finally feeling the odds weigh in her favor. Yes, they really were close siblings, and she was loving every moment of it.

_I'm finally home._

* * *

**Author's Note:** YAY LUNA. Possibly wil extend beyond one-shot! /)


End file.
